Building Habits That Last

Maybe you've heard it said before, that "it takes 3 weeks for something to become a habit." Well, I don't know about you, but I've done plenty of things for three weeks before that I don't do anymore. I've done things for three years before that I don't do anymore. So what's the deal? In my opinion, it takes much more than time to effectively form a habit.

Forming habits are key if we want to live a life beyond what we have motivation for. Keeping habits, if we build them right to begin with, is the easy part. Here's how I go about building rhythms of life that last:

• Identify and strengthen the underlying belief(s) behind the habit. In other words, ask yourself "why?" a thousand times like the annoying kid from elementary school. BE that annoying kid to yourself, because it turns out that kid was onto something. Without a solid answer to the question 'why' you should do something - a good reason that's based in your beliefs, values, convictions, etc. - no habit will last.

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That was the case with me and caffeine. In 2017, I went 6 months without consuming any caffeine. That meant no coffee, no soda, no tea, no energy drinks - you name it. That was an awesome habit, and I'm glad I did it. I'm better off for it. I felt great and full of energy, and by month two, avoiding caffeine even became very easy to maintain. But ultimately, the habit didn't last, because I had no centrally-held, core belief to keep this habit in place. While I may consent that caffeine has generally negative effects on the human body, I don't believe total abstinence is the necessary or even best solution. Thus, my habit was on a collision course.

In the long run, either your belief will need to change to reinforce your habit, or your habit will revert back to your true belief, every time. I recommend having the two on the same page to begin with.

• ​The more regularly (frequency) the habit occurs, the better. The habits I have that take the least energy to maintain are the habits that I do every day. These quickly become second nature - just a part of who you are and what you do.
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• The more regularly the method (when / where / how) of fulfilling the habit, the better. If daily habits become second nature, then daily habits that happen at at the same time, in the same place, and in the same way become like a sixth sense. Of course, you could still have a regular method without a daily frequency. The idea though is that more rhythmic the decision becomes, the less mental energy / willpower is required to continue making that decision, and thus, the stronger the habit becomes.

 

• Keep your habits in front of you. Even the most ingrained habits can occasionally slip our minds. You know, like forgetting to eat breakfast, or that time I turned left at a red light. To combat this risk, create stimulators that remind you of the behaviors you're intending to do. This could be anything from putting notes in places you look often, to setting reminders / alarms on your phone, to downloading a habit tracker app that you update daily.

 

• Evaluate your habits. Not every day, but maybe every couple weeks or couple months. You want to ensure that your habits are appropriately challenging (not too easy or too difficult), and you also want to determine whether your habits are producing the outcomes you thought they would. Ask yourself questions like:
  • What are my best habits? (i.e., what repeated behaviors am I currently doing that are clearly and directly causing me to thrive?)
  • What are my worst habits? (i.e., what repeated behaviors am I currently doing that are clearly and directly limiting me? What do I do every day that is not helping me, and may even be hurting me?)
  • What habits do I need to implement? 
  • What needs to change about what I believe in order to see these habits through?

What habits have you successfully formed? How did you do it?